Danity Kane equals my life? ! ! !

Okay, so I'm catching up on Making the Band and I just had an Aha! moment.

So, Dawn and Andrea were talking to Lauri-Ann about the whole Danity Kane break-up and how they are stuck in limbo because the other members of the band have either been dismissed or haven't decided if they want to be a part of the band anymore. During the convo., Dawn said something like "We don't understand why it couldn't work."

When she said that, it's like a light bulb went off in my head. All the feelings and thoughts that I've been trying to make sense of for the past few months, she just summed it all up in that one simple statement. Not to put too much of my business out there, but I recently - like 4 months ago- lost one of my best friends. Not Dannie P., she's been my bestest since third grade, but my other best friend whom I'll call B. No, B didn't die, but for whatever reason, he decided that he was done with our 11 year friendship.

I honestly have no idea why and since he won't talk to me, it looks like I'll never know. So like Danity Kane, I'm stuck in freakin limbo and I don't understand why it couldn't work. *Sigh* I'm tired of having a pity party of one, so I just thought I'd vent for a bit to the world.

Okay, I'm done now.

End scene.

Money in the bank...

Okay, so it's been a hot, hot minute since I updated my blog...Sooooorry!
But the last time that I blogged I was on a quest to get my money right- well update- I still am : ) To start the process I made a list of my debts, least to greatest and figured out what I could pay off immediately. Of that list, I've paid off two things and should be retiring another 2 debts in the next month or two.

I also analyzed my budget and looked and how much money I'm bringing in each month, compared to what I'm paying out and where that money is going. I've realized that I was eating out entirely too much and *sigh* paying waaaaay too many monthly over-draft fees. I'm ashamed to say how many, but more than 0 is too many, so I'm working to keep a more up to date accounting of my available funds. I've also realized that I need to figure out how to bring in at least another $200 every month. I've worked a part-time weekend job in addition to my regular 9 to 5 and honestly I don't want to do that again. I'm hoping to be able to launch my own small business sometime next month. Keep your fingers crossed for me, because a sista could use some extra income!!

Git ya, git ya money right

For some reason, on my commute to work I started thinking about where my life is going. Not sure where it came from, but it helped the 45 minute drive go by faster, so I went with it.
During my drive I realized that I'll be single for the foreseeable future, so I need to start building my future as if I'll be my sole provider - which means I need to make sure that I'm in a position to make my visions for my future a reality.
In my future I see a beautiful house, lots of vacations, a nice car and T-Rex sized nest egg for my retirement. In order to make that stuff happen, I've resolved to pay down my debts and get fiscally fit in 2009.
Since most of my stuff is in storage until I move into my new apartment in the next couple of weeks, I don't really have access to all of my bills, but I have a ball park figure of my debts. By my estimations, I have about $30,000 worth of debt - about 98% of that is my old student loan. Yikes! I know that is something pretty personal to put out there, but I know that by admitting that to the world, I'll be more serious about paying that down. I haven't figured out the details yet, but stay tuned for my master plan to fill in the hole that is financial burdens.

FILA update

Sooo, in October I made a list of 10 things that I wanted to do during the first 6 months of me relocating to the metro-Atlanta area. A little over two months into my little project and I'm proud to say that I'm making progress!

1- "Buy something from a cute boutique shop."

I did this one Saturday afternoon. I found the cutest shop in Little Five Points thanks to a friend, who I was meeting in the area for lunch. The shop is called Tease, and what they lack in square footage, they more than make up for in quirky, funky style.

If you are a bit confused by the name, when you go inside it all makes sense, as T-shirts are the majority of the available merchandise...get it T-shirts...Tees...Tease....My shirt was kind of plain, but I thought it was cute. I saw a white T-shirt that said "Smart is the new gangsta" in orange and fuchsia letters that I want to go back an get. Feel free to check them out for yourself (it's on Euclid Avenue).

2-Go to a Hawks game

I'm going to the game later today and I actually was able to get great seats thanks to my alumni hook up. The alumni association for Georgia Southern (Go Eagles!) arranged a Georgia Southern Day with the Hawks where alumni could get good seats for the low low and we get to mix and mingle with the Detroit Pistons coach, who is also a graduate of my esteemed university.

Dreaming of a green Christmas?

I hate wrapping presents. I hate taking the time to make sure the corners are crisp and I hate even more how it looks when you don't. I hate stick on bows, but unfortunately for me, I haven't been able to pick up my mother's gift of making home-made bows.

On holidays and birthdays, everyone in my family looks forward to getting a gift from my mom. It's really amazing to me how she can take a spool of ribbon and turn it into something so festive.

Both my older and younger sister have picked up at least a portion of her talent. Unfortunately, I can't say the same goes for me.

My feeling about wrapping gifts is no secret in my family, so every year at Christmas, it has become a source of merriment for them to see how I've adorned my gifts. One year I used brown paper, twine and fake stems with cherries - cute concept, but my delivery was a bit off. Another year I decided to throw everything in gift bags - it got the job done, but it wasn't very exciting.

This year, in an effort to 1) satisfy my desire to not wrap any gifts and 2) lessen my impact on the world, I've decided to give the gift of going green. Instead of putting my gifts in boxes or gift bags that will be thrown away, I'm going to put everybody's present in one of those canvas bags that they can take to the grocery store.

I'm encouraging everyone else to do the same, or at least take a page from my older sister and mom's book - if you must put your gifts in boxes, gather them up after all the presents are opened and use them again next year.

Where's the lighter fluid?

You think you know someone and then they turn around and do something so surprising that it makes you question if you ever knew them.

My life feels like a series of lines from a host of movies and songs right now, there are many, but none sum it up more than that classic Kelis tune, "I hate you so much right now." *insert scream here*

Writing is generally my release, but it's not helping at this moment. Nor is sleep, as it has been elusive most of the night. Nor is that wine and beer - poor combination I know - that I drank last night.

"I don't wanna go to work today, I'd rather stay home and play video games. I'd rather chill for real...but I gotta get up."

I find it darkly humorous that a date that will live in infamy for me personally came the day after the historical one. The irony of it all. I imagine if the mail ran on Sundays then they would have coincided.

Is it just me?

So I've been making an effort to be more positive about things because no one wants to be around a Negative Nancy....
That being said, no matter how hard I try to break my habit of waiting for the other shoe to drop, I can't. I mean things could be going great in my life, but I never allow myself to really enjoy it because I'm afraid that if I do, things will make a turn for the worse.
Maybe if things didn't always tend to go awry I would get out of this habit, but so far my luck hasn't changed.
For instance, a few months ago I was thinking that my car was running great...the next thing I know, it breaks down and costs nearly $500 to repair.
Or if I haven't had an argument with a friend in a while and I start to think that we're good, we'll get in a huge argument and stop talking for a month or so.
I don't know if this is just me thinking negatively or if its just a defense making mechanism. Maybe I'm afraid of being happy as ridiculous as that sounds. Maybe things keep going poorly because I expect them to.
I don't know, maybe everyone thinks like this - or maybe it's just me...